Hard choices leave you with nothing [for slayers_desire]

[fractured_agent]

It's been a while since Jack needed a stiff drink, and he usually abstains in case the Doctor picks that moment to return. But after a day like today... sometimes he can justify letting himself slip a bit.

The rest of his team is sent home, and the Hub is empty, save for Jack and the pterodactyl roosting in her eyrie. Leaving him alone with only a drink and his memories for company.

He looks down at his wristcomp. Very few times has he been able to call anyone for help, since his time at Torchwood began. And it still doesn't quite work... but he's spent too much time with only his thoughts for company. He's terribly lonely, in the way that only the immortal truly know, and right now his heart is aching for the loss of Estelle.

He calls up April's number, before he can talk himself out of it.

Comments

[fractured_agent]

"Not here. That's what people think they look like... they don't want to know the truth. They're as old as the Earth, and have no name. A mysterious force of nature, that we know nothing about, and have no defense against except to stay away from them."

[slayers_desire]

"Did something happen with a fairy?"

[fractured_agent]

"With all of them." It isn't the first time that he's encountered faeries. But it's worse than last time.

"They choose children, usually little girls, to become one of them. I tried to save her, but they would've killed everyone if I hadn't handed her over." That's the real reason he sent his team home. They're too furious with him to listen to his orders. He doesn't blame them for being angry. But he knew there was no other option.

[slayers_desire]

"What happens to the little girl, when they choose one to become like them?" It sounds like Jack had to make a hard choice.

[fractured_agent]

"They protect her until she's old enough... then they take her. Regardless of what her parents or friends want for her. After that, I don't know." His only consolation is knowing that the girl isn't harmed.

[slayers_desire]

"You feel like you failed this girl?"

[fractured_agent]

"No. I know there was no other way. They'd already killed to keep her to themselves. And... their victims weren't just the people trying to stop them." They're getting to the heart of the matter now, and that immortal loneliness festers in him now. "Someone I loved."

[slayers_desire]

She aches for him when that loneliness is felt. And she squeezes his hand again.

"Tell me about your love, Jack."

[fractured_agent]

Thinking of those old memories hurts, but not as much as it hurt last night to hold her cold body in his arms and know that there was nothing he could do to bring her back. "Her name was Estelle." He smiles a little as he thinks of her as she was back then, so young and full of life. "We met in London at the Astoria Ballroom, a few weeks before Christmas. She was seventeen years old, and she was beautiful."

[slayers_desire]

"Sounds like you fell in love in first sight."

[fractured_agent]

"We both did. We were smitten. And nothing lasted back then, so we made the most of our time together." At heart, under the innuendos and the crude jokes, Jack is a hopeless romantic. And especially after becoming immortal, he's come to value his relationships with people more important than the sex.

[slayers_desire]

"I am glad you were able to spend that time together." April is a bit of hopeless romantic too. And she just wants the best for her friend.

[fractured_agent]

"I didn't want to break her heart. So when I was posted abroad during the War... I didn't come back to her. I wrote her letters, so she'd know I was okay. But we 'lost touch.'" It would be too hard to explain why he never got any older. He didn't want her to look at him like he was some kind of freak.

[slayers_desire]

"And somehow, she came back into your life?"

((bed))

[fractured_agent]

He nods a little, his smile becoming more wistful. A bit more painful. "I contacted her again several years ago. Told her I was my own son. There wasn't any way we could have what we once did... but I could keep an eye on her. Be close to her for a little while longer, at least."

((Sleep well... I'll be out of town for part of tomorrow and most of Saturday, but I will tag when I can.))

[slayers_desire]

"That was very sweet of you Jack. She must have been important to you."

[fractured_agent]

"It's... difficult, seeing someone you knew and loved as a young lady growing old, when the mirror still shows the same face for me. But I still love her." And that's why it hurt the same to lose her.

[slayers_desire]

"I can't imagine how difficult that was for you." Especially since he doesn't age normally himself.

[fractured_agent]

"She never moved on from me. Never married anyone. I wanted her to be happy, but I knew I could never grow old with her."

[slayers_desire]

April can't imagine losing someone like the way Jack does. Even those close calls with Clark don't seem to compare.

"How did she die?"

[fractured_agent]

"They drowned her in her own garden. There was no water around." His voice doesn't crack when he says this, but the pain has never been greater. His worst nightmare is something he lives over and over again in his immortal life, doomed to love those whose lifespans are only eyeblinks in comparison to his. He never regrets loving them. But sooner or later, they all have to leave him forever.

[slayers_desire]

"And you said there was no reason for them attacking her?"

[fractured_agent]

"Not that I know about. She's always been interested in faeries, wanting to see them in the circle stones. She believed in the 'good' kind of faerie." The way he says it makes clear that he doesn't think such a thing exists. "Maybe they got angry at being followed and photographed, but she was at home when she died. She called me for help... and by the time we got there, she was already dead."

[slayers_desire]

"I am so sorry you lost someone you love, Jack."

[fractured_agent]

"Thanks." It's small consolation, but just having someone to talk to is a help. Gwen is in on his secret, but she doesn't know him as well as April does.