Hard choices leave you with nothing [for slayers_desire]

[fractured_agent]

It's been a while since Jack needed a stiff drink, and he usually abstains in case the Doctor picks that moment to return. But after a day like today... sometimes he can justify letting himself slip a bit.

The rest of his team is sent home, and the Hub is empty, save for Jack and the pterodactyl roosting in her eyrie. Leaving him alone with only a drink and his memories for company.

He looks down at his wristcomp. Very few times has he been able to call anyone for help, since his time at Torchwood began. And it still doesn't quite work... but he's spent too much time with only his thoughts for company. He's terribly lonely, in the way that only the immortal truly know, and right now his heart is aching for the loss of Estelle.

He calls up April's number, before he can talk himself out of it.

Comments

[slayers_desire]

"And somehow, she came back into your life?"

((bed))

[fractured_agent]

He nods a little, his smile becoming more wistful. A bit more painful. "I contacted her again several years ago. Told her I was my own son. There wasn't any way we could have what we once did... but I could keep an eye on her. Be close to her for a little while longer, at least."

((Sleep well... I'll be out of town for part of tomorrow and most of Saturday, but I will tag when I can.))

[slayers_desire]

"That was very sweet of you Jack. She must have been important to you."

[fractured_agent]

"It's... difficult, seeing someone you knew and loved as a young lady growing old, when the mirror still shows the same face for me. But I still love her." And that's why it hurt the same to lose her.

[slayers_desire]

"I can't imagine how difficult that was for you." Especially since he doesn't age normally himself.

[fractured_agent]

"She never moved on from me. Never married anyone. I wanted her to be happy, but I knew I could never grow old with her."

[slayers_desire]

April can't imagine losing someone like the way Jack does. Even those close calls with Clark don't seem to compare.

"How did she die?"

[fractured_agent]

"They drowned her in her own garden. There was no water around." His voice doesn't crack when he says this, but the pain has never been greater. His worst nightmare is something he lives over and over again in his immortal life, doomed to love those whose lifespans are only eyeblinks in comparison to his. He never regrets loving them. But sooner or later, they all have to leave him forever.

[slayers_desire]

"And you said there was no reason for them attacking her?"

[fractured_agent]

"Not that I know about. She's always been interested in faeries, wanting to see them in the circle stones. She believed in the 'good' kind of faerie." The way he says it makes clear that he doesn't think such a thing exists. "Maybe they got angry at being followed and photographed, but she was at home when she died. She called me for help... and by the time we got there, she was already dead."

[slayers_desire]

"I am so sorry you lost someone you love, Jack."

[fractured_agent]

"Thanks." It's small consolation, but just having someone to talk to is a help. Gwen is in on his secret, but she doesn't know him as well as April does.

[slayers_desire]

"Whatever you need to talk about, I am right here for you."

[fractured_agent]

"Gwen knows who I lost... everyone else thinks she was just a friend of mine." He doesn't want to tell them, because that'll lead to too many problems. But it's also difficult to go through a loss like this when no one knows the gravity of what happened.

[slayers_desire]

"That must be difficult, not being able to tell your teammates the whole truth of the story."

[fractured_agent]

"It's nothing I'm not used to." Unfortunately.

[slayers_desire]

"Just because you are used to it, doesn't mean I wish we could change things for you."

[fractured_agent]

"It's easier this way. People will always come and go, especially in this job." Part of him wishes things could be different, but this is what the dice rolled for him, and he has to live with it as best he can.

[slayers_desire]

"At least you do have people you can talk to. Like Gwen. Like me."

[fractured_agent]

"Gwen only knows because I couldn't avoid showing her. She was there when Suzie turned on us and shot me in the head. But I guess if that hadn't happened that way... she wouldn't be on the team."

[slayers_desire]

"Does she know about the Nexus, and your other friends?"

[fractured_agent]

Jack shakes his head. "No one does. I like keeping a bit of mystery around."

[slayers_desire]

"Too many questions would lead to too many answers."

[fractured_agent]

"Exactly. They don't know who or what I am, or where I come from. For my safety as much as theirs."

[slayers_desire]

"Tell me about your team."